Is Being in Your Early 20s Really That Hard?

Marielle Ablaneda
4 min readJun 23, 2020


At least, for me. Maybe for some, not so much. I guess it all depends on how you deal with it. Perhaps I’m just whining here but either way, being an early 20s-something person is complicated. It’s a time of self-awareness and self-discovery. Sure, you might’ve done that in puberty but this time, it’s about taking those things to the next level.

Photo by Angello Pro on Unsplash


Why? Because you have come to the realization that not everything is going to be given to you on a silver platter or on a golden spoon. You’ve already had your fun and it’s the universe telling you to start doing something for yourself. You are now fully aware that you need to start working to survive and make a life for yourself. I know how it can be so hard to be a proactive person with procrastination just looming around the corner but there will come a time when it has to stop. You don’t need an inspiration to start doing something, trust me. Sometimes, when you start a project on a whim, you kind of enjoy it in the process and actually be immersed in it. The more you are into it, the prouder you’ll be of yourself. It worked for me and I hope it’ll work on you too.

Another thing why self-awareness is a huge part of being a young adult is because you start to notice things around you. Yes, it’s called self-awareness but that is exactly why you’re getting the hang of being a bit observant. You try to look into yourself first to assess how others are around you. This is your mind and body’s way of saying that your self-awareness kicked up a notch. People may have different opinions about you but that shouldn’t reflect your values nor how you see yourself. You are not them and they are not you.

Being self-aware means that you are taking care of yourself. You are slowly learning how trust and love yourself by knowing who you are and how others are to you. You don’t always do it in the right way but it’s okay. Maybe you do stupid things from time to time as well but it’s all part of the process. Being self-aware takes time to get used to so please be patient with yourself.


“Curiosity killed the cat,” that’s what they said. It’s not at all bad to be curious about some things because isn’t it just the same as learning? Sure, there are still a lot of unanswered questions but it always doesn’t hurt to ask. This is where your self-discovery comes into the picture.

You begin to ask yourself important questions you’ve never asked yourself before. You start thinking about what will happen to you in the near future or the possibilities of you, owning a mega yacht. This is good because you’re setting your goals in life by asking yourself these questions. You’re discovering your wants and needs by magnifying your dreams. You’re thinking ahead and maybe daydreaming in the process and that’s fine. That just means your self-discovery is slowly working its way into your system. It’s telling you to work on your dreams and discover more about it.

As you go along with the process, you also start to ask personal questions about yourself. You start to wonder if you’re okay as you are or if you come off as weird to your friends but then again, you shouldn’t worry so much. It wouldn’t hurt to slow down and relax a bit. It’s called self-discovery, not self-deprecation. Focus on yourself and learn more about yourself. Try new things and by doing so, also try asking yourself if what you want now will still be what you want a few years from now. You know you’ll get better at something so your attention on a certain hobby might shift on something else. Don’t get me wrong, it’s actually a good thing. You’re gaining knowledge and experience from different activities, thus making you a better person.

Photo by Alexandra Kirr on Unsplash

In conclusion, being in the 20s of your life is not as bad as it seems. It’s not hard either but like I’ve mentioned, it all depends on how you deal with it. The 20s make you feel lost, hopeless and worthless but at the end of it all, your life is what you make it. The time is ripe and you’ve still got a long way to go. Time is gold but life is not a race and these sayings contradict one another but one thing’s for sure:

You better start now.



Marielle Ablaneda

If something goes wrong in your life, just think of it as a plot twist and move on. :)