It’s almost 2021 and unfortunately, the pandemic is still active and we are all very sad. While this may not be true for some, you can’t deny the fact that this year gave us one hell of a ride. And so to 2021, here’s my message for you: Please give us a break so I can finally find a job.
Yes, I’m jobless. 10 months and counting. It’s nearing its year and all I can say is that I’ve already accepted my fate. I will not be able to land a job this year. I’m not proud of it. It’s frustrating on my part because I resigned just November of last year to find another job suited for my skills. The pandemic halted my search of a better income and as a 2-year-old graduate, you can’t really do much. You can’t see the enemy and you don’t know what’ll happen so I didn’t take the risk. My parents didn’t want me to do anything either so I obeyed them. 22-year-old Asian me stayed at home with my mom and sister while dad goes off to work. I felt helpless because my dad is out there working and I’m just here, being a couch potato.
I tried looking for jobs, I really did. A call came to me by March and that was the time when the cases were still low but already moving up in numbers. Safety measurements weren’t implemented yet so going out wasn’t an issue. And so, I got interviewed for two days but they never called back. I figured I didn’t make it. I continued job hunting online and that’s when the cases surged. When it did, I eventually stopped. I didn’t want to put my life out there. I immediately thought about the safety of myself and that of my family.
In the back of my head, there’s still that fear of the unknown and the lingering question of “What will I do if I get infected?”. You take precautionary measures here and there but you never know if or how it hits you. It’s a scary thought, to be honest.
Here I am, sitting crossed-legged in my bed, still jobless. My parents advised me to take up online work but having had no experience with it and my anxiety clouding up my mind, I knew it was no-no. Instead, I immersed myself in writing and on the occasion, binge-watched anime, American, and Korean shows. I also learned how to cook other recipes and even managed to workout on a whim simply because I have nothing else to do. My being at home had a positive effect and it sort of like became a therapy for me.
I’m just glad I have supportive and caring parents, despite the state that I am in now. They understood the gravity of the situation and strongly advised me and my sister to stop with the job hunt. My mom is a tough woman who takes on a problem as a challenge and sees risks as a temporary setback but when it comes to health, no doubt in taking no risks to it. My dad is such a family man and has been working for over 25 years now and he, too, doesn’t want us to risk it. I guess that’s what being a parent is all about but we understood one another as a family. I’m beyond thankful for that.
It’s not my time nor my year but everything happens for a reason. I know that people out there are like me. It’s rough and makes you feel worthless with each passing day. You don’t feel sad nor happy, you’re just surviving and wondering whether you’re gonna get there. Things will eventually get better soon and it’s always never too late to get back up. Allow yourself to feel your emotions but remember to not get lost in it.
We’re gonna be okay.